The Abyss of My Insanity

Friday, October 07, 2005

Not a Supergirl.... Rantings of a Listless Heart

I'm a fool, to get myself trapped and apparently lost in my own dilemmas. Like so many times before, like those times I'm so wrapped up in my own world, so caught up in that thing I've always wanted to have but failed with all efforts to achieve.

I'm insane to even think it was possible. My best efforts, to no avail.

My health failed. In so many months now I've kept myself in perfect shape and these past few days I'm having bouts with fever and cold. Reminding me that my human body has its limitations. My table in the office is littered with medicine foils and a big bottle of water refilled almost every ten minutes.

Must be the weather, but I've always been tough withstanding the shifting schedules, the rain and the sun, the gimmicks and all I've had for almost two years now.

The lack of sleep was never a problem. Preoccupation has always been a constant company.

But lately it seems everything is happening in daze, and in haste. Days went by without sleep. Days spent staring at nothing and thinking about everything. Weekends at endless yet blissful escapades. I gave my mind and my body no opportunity for rest, I paid no heed to the aches that were constantly there. Because I was trying to avoid one that seeths deeper.

It seems for me that there is so much going on, when there's only you.