SMOKERS & NO SMOKING SIGNS

Those of you who are living incinerators and breathing chimneys beware!

Beware of those small posts on walls, by small I mean some 7"x 5" glossy orange paper with Binay's face on it. Look closer, then and only then you'd see the sign that could determine your fate--- 3 days in jail or Php 1000 right off your pocket on first offense.

Beware of the mortiferous NO SMOKING SIGN!!!!!

So acutely written, that my friend failed to invision a 3-day full accommodation package in Makati jail or the feel of like being robbed in the midst of the metropolis.
My officemate requested anonymity, so I decided to call him Ritchie, not his real name of course.
Allow me to tell you how I felt somehow responsible for my friend violating the law, and how we were able to evade fines and jail.

Craving for a KFC fried chicken, my officemates and I decided to have breakfast at KFC's branch, Ayala MRT. I figured Ritchie would want to eat first before going home so I asked him to come with us. He said he would as soon as he's finished with some bank matters he needed to attend to.

The whole troop went to KFC, and Ritchie went to the bank. He arrived after we're done with our finger-lickin' fried chickens. I asked if he'd want to eat and he declined. So after some small talk we headed home, on our way to the train station we did a short stop-over at one of the stalls to buy some chandelier earrings. Ritchie and Joy would have to ride a bus to Laguna while the rest of us would have to take the train, so Ritchie thought of smoking one stick of cigarette while waiting for us.

He went to the waiting area below the MRT station while we stayed at the stall to check out some accessories.
Hale Elizabeth and her curious nature!

In her most unaffecting tone she said, "Tingnan n'yo o si Ritchie kausap ng mga pulis."

She was pointing at Ritchie, who was below the station talking to a bunch of Makati policemen garbed in white shirts, navy blue (2 inches above the knee) shorts, and psychedelic rubber shoes.

One of our officemates, Jeffrey, just said, "Baka nakikipag-kwentuhan lang."

"E bakit tinitingnan yung I.D. nya?" Elizabeth jibed. And we all looked down wondering what his business with the police was. It seemed he was in trouble with them that when one of us said "tara baba tayo puntahin natin" we hurriedly went to help him out.

He was indeed in big trouble. He was caught smoking in a public place, and that smoking area was just a couple of meters away from where he was standing. They confiscated his I.D. and he would have to claim it for Php1000. Jeff and Jr, stayed behind while the girls tried to negotiate the case with the police.

I felt responsible because I had asked him to come with us so I thought I should do the talking. And if we didn’t go to the stalls he would not have thought of smoking to while away time.

"Manong ano po bang nangyari?" I asked the policemen. There were four of them, two of whom seemed nice, one so busy with Lotto tickets and the other one with a permanent scowl on his face.

"E miss bawal magsigarilyo dito e," the nice police guy said. "Di ny'o ba nakita yung mga post dun?" He pointed at the walls, and all we saw were some small papers pasted on the walls. We looked closer and there we saw the NO SMOKING sign he was referring to with a big face belonging to the mayor.

"Ay ang liit naman n'yan, Manong di naman kita e," I told the police.

At this point the other police was questioning the ashen faced Ritchie, where he lived, our office and its location. When he gingerly told them we're working for PLDT the scowling policeman unabashingly informed us we could afford to pay the fine since we are being paid (as to his assumptions) big salaries. He even suggested that we could chip in to lessen our friend's burden.

So we went on with the negotiation, using all charms we could to bail Ritchie out of that sticky situation. The scowling policeman offered to bring us to the police precinct.

"Ay bakit po sa presinto?" I implored to the nice policeman, shocked as I was that things were becoming more complicated by the second.

"Kasi pag di ka nagbayad three days ka sa presinto," he said in a very causal tone.

"Ho???" was all that I was able to say. My officemates began talking to the rest of the policemen, pleading our friend's case. When after almost an hour of relentless pleading, charms all exhausted, the two "very nice" policemen relented. They said our friend could go and he could get his I.D. from the "scowling" policeman.

"Huwag ho kayong mag-alala ipagkakalat ho namin sa buong PLDT na bawal pala manigarilyo dito at tsaka sana naman po mas malaki pa dyan yung paskil para kita. Salamat manong. "I uttered the last sentence as demure as I possibly could.

But the "scowling" policeman did not want to give Ritchie's I.D. back. "Manong ayaw po e," I pleaded more.
"Ako'ng bahala," said the "nice" policeman. After a while the "scowling" policeman gave our friend's I.D. back.

I urged Ritchie to go, but he seemed stuck in his place, tense and so pale. When finally he came out of that catatonic state we went home with so much relief.

But the story does not end with that.

Elizabeth could not just keep it to herself.

"Buti na lang tsismosa ako ha! ha! ha!"